Hatfield and the Ford Mustang and McCoy and the Chevrolet Camaro
This past weekend, CarLocate.com got the honor of sitting down with William “Devil Anse” Hatfield and Randolph “Ol’ Randell” McCoy to talk cars. Naturally, agreement and courtesy were rarer than unicorn’s blood.
CarLocate: William Hatfield and Randolph McCoy, welcome to PFPR. It’s really a pleasure to have you both sitting in one room without trying to kill each other.
Hatfield: Yessir, I reckon if thurs one thang that me an’ that swine can sit down and talk about it’s cars.
McCoy: Sure, we McCoys love aut-o-mo-beels. Ol’ Hatfield over thur wouldn’t know a good set o’ tires though if it done run over his toe.
Hatfield: Take it back, McCoy!
McCoy: I will not.
CarLocate: Alright, gentleman, that’s enough. Let’s keep this civil and talk about something that I know we all can agree on. William, why don’t you tell me a little bit about your present vehicle.
Hatfield: Well, I drive a 2012 Ford Mustang Boss 302 and it’s my pride an’ joy. ‘For the rooster crows, I’m already out thur, shynin’ it an’ carin’ for it. An she’s plenty quick wit’ that ol’ 444 horsepower V8. Quick enough to whip a McCoy I’d bet. Boy I think that grilles as purdy as pumpkin pie.
CarLocate: The “Boss” 302 is quite a car, Mr. Hatfield. And what is your ride of choice Randolph? Another Mustang?
McCoy: I wouldn’t be caught dead sittin’ in that pile of horse manoor you call a car. For a more upper class family, like the McCoys, we prefer to drive the Chevrolet Camaro SS. Nothin’ looks nicer or drives better than a Camaro an’ let me tell you I get 29 my-uls to the gallon. Camaro would beat the pants off a ‘Stang any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Hatfield: A Camaro SS? What does the SS stand for? Slow and Sloppy? Just like the whole McCoy family.
McCoy: Sloppy? You wanna see sloppy check out a Hatfield family re-yune-yun. SS stands for ‘Specially Speedy. Listen, you ol’ sandbag I’m ill as a hornet right now an’ fixin’ to give you what you deserve.
Hatfield: The McCoys an’ thur cars call all rot in West Vurginyah. Hatfields are the most loyalist, proudest, an most of all best drivin’ families south of the Mason-Dixon.
McCoy: My sister Betsy drives betteran you with her eyes closed. I challenge you Hatfields to a drag race down by Boon’s swamp. Fastest car wins.
Hatfield: I accept your challenge even though it comes from a rat and a coward. Your momma is so…..
CarLocate: Alright, alright, let’s not bring mothers into it. Well, I guess that about wraps up this edition of PFPR. Hatfield and McCoy, thanks for joining us and let’s keep the musket-play to a minimum this weekend.
Background Information:
The Hafields and McCoys are two American families whose brutal feud has become part of legend. Some say that the rivalry began and descended from Ephraim Hatfield and William McCoy but sources are unsure as to the exact reason for dispute. Unfortunately, the feud was often steeped in violence and many people were killed due to the fierce hatred. The Hatfields and McCoys lived along the West Virginia and Kentucky back-country and were led by William Anderson "Devil Anse" Hatfield and Randolph "Ol' Randell" McCoy respectively.
*Disclaimer: These interviews are for entertainment purposes only and are not based on the actual opinions of the interviewees.