Week 8

Worst Cars to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse Runner-Up: Nissan Cube

When it comes to fighting zombies, there are some cars that just won’t do. Whether it is body style, horsepower, or a lack of standard features, some vehicles are just not cut out for zombie-slaughtering work. The Nissan Cube is one of those cars.

First of all, the Cube lacks the necessary driver-focused features. For example, it only comes with regular cloth seats, no interior lighting, and no cruise control option on the standard model. When driving for days to flee from hoards of zombies, you need a car that has the best standard options.

What is more distressing is the actual body shape of the Cube. Just as the name implies, it is shaped like a cube with a flat top and flat sides. What could be more inviting to a blood-thirsty zombie than a flat surface on which to climb, stand, sit, and sprawl out, whatever? Just picture it: you stop at an abandoned convenience store, leaving the Cube by itself. While you are inside, a zombie spots you and waits patiently behind the rear of the Cube, wide enough to hide any normal-sized zombie. You get back inside unwittingly and as soon as you turn the key, the zombie is on the hood, smashing his fist into the driver’s seat window, blocking the view of the windshield with his head. Before you know it, you’ve crashed into a tree and are now a zombie’s perfect three course meal.

When it comes to zombie plowing capabilities, the Cube falls short. Delivering 122 horsepower and 127 lb-ft of torque, the Cube will not be able to charge through a mass of zombies the way you’d like it to. To make things worse, the standard version of the Cube comes with a six-speed manual transmission, meaning you will not only have to be on the lookout for stealthy zombies but will also need to focus on shifting gears at the same time.

All in all, the Nissan Cube might be a great car for driving to work and dropping your kids off at school, but make no mistake: it is not the car to choose for the zombie apocalypse. Sure you could take your chances with it, but when it comes to zombies, it’s almost always better to be safe than sorry.